As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bring money and cleavage
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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