it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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