Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
