you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
