she sounds like chewbacca in bed
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
