I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
