I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
