Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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