Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize