He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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