It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My cat gives me a boner
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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