he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
