i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
