i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
