it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
