Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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