He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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