Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
