I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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