Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize