i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
