I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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