How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
