Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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