I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
