im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
