Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I need moral support for this bender
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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