tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
