birth control should be required to get into college
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
