What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
