My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
