make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
