Whatcha textin bout Willis?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
