operation harelip BJ is a go
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
MIDGETS
????
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
