everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize