We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
