just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
