I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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