We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
