smell my finger.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
