She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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