I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
