But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize