Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize