I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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