how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This baby is an asshole
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize