I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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