Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
