I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
