whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
