Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
