Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
