See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
