I want to have your abortion
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
