Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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