hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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