Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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