News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
