marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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