just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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