I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
